In the Spotlight

Dani Stadelmann: Sprinkling Contagious Kindness

OCTOBER IS BREAST CANCER AWARENESS MONTH. THE BESSIE MORRIS FOUNDATION IS PROUD TO PRESENT THE STORY OF A SURVIVOR WHO HAS MADE IT HER MISSION TO RAISE BREAST CANCER AWARENESS - AND TO DO GOOD.

Danielle (“Dani”) Stadelmann is a breast cancer survivor who turned her diagnosis and recovery experience into her personal mission of spreading breast cancer awareness and advocating for the search for a cure. She is a public speaker and fundraiser for the cause.

Dani generously shared her journey with the Bessie Morris Foundation of being a rebellious teenager with poor grades to earning her college degree and becoming an Advisor and Financial Planner at one of the largest investment and online broker firms in the United States.

She turned her life around by realizing “what you throw out into the world is exactly what will come back to you.” The Boomerang Effect. She changed herself and how she treated others. She believes when you “sprinkle contagious kindness today, it matters tomorrow.” She firmly believes the good she did in the world after her teens came back ten-fold in all the love, caring, and support she received after being diagnosed with breast cancer.

ALL I HEARD WAS “CANCER”

On May 10, 2021, Dani went in for her routine mammogram. When she was asked to step into the next room for an ultrasound, Dani told the tech that she was not due for her ultrasound of her right side for another six months. But the tech informed her this was for her left side. Initially Dani was not too concerned since it is not uncommon to have cysts that need to be checked and was told, “We just want rule out everything.”

Later the radiologist was asked to double check the ultrasound. When he came in to talk to Dani, she remembered only about 3% of what he said. She just remembers hearing the word “cancer”.

She went to her car and cried.

The next day she went for an MRI. Even though she was warned it could take two weeks for the diagnosis, “the next nine days were the longest of my life,” said Dani.

On May 19, the day before a trip that had been planned months ago, Dani's boss called to ask if she had heard yet. She was just impatiently saying, “No,” when her primary physician called on the other line. She was diagnosed with having two types of breast cancer.

She freaked out. Dani had originally naively believed that since breast cancer doesn't run in her family and she doesn't have the BRCA gene, she couldn't get breast cancer. But in the last few days, deep inside, she had started to think she did.

Dani called her husband Larry and he flew back home. How were they going to handle this? How would they tell the girls? She didn't want her parents to have to deal with this. Why me? All these questions and thoughts ran through her mind.

After a night of crying, and with her doctor's blessing, Dani got on the plane the next day and went on her trip. She needed time to clear her head. She was grateful for the time away to collect herself, and for the journal Larry had given her to write down all her thoughts.

When she came back, treatment began. Discussions. Research. Lots of Research. Decisions. Surgeries. Medication. Pain. Recovery.

LOOKING FOR THE GOOD

Dani is grateful for her amazing medical team. Some of the medication has adverse side effects (some quite severe; some chronic), but the doctors are making adjustments. She is dealing with it as best as she can.

She was amazed by the outpouring of love and kindness she received from so many. Ali, a stranger and fellow survivor (connected through a mutual friend) brought a care basket of things Dani didn't even know she'd need after surgery. Her work-family provided a two-month food train of meals. Her paternal aunts and uncles provided transportation to and from Massachusetts General Hospital in Boston. And of course, she is grateful for all the love and caring and help from her husband Larry and their daughters.

One thing that has astonished Dani is how amazing the body is. Before surgery, she had high blood pressure and high heart rate. After surgery, they are normal. They were signs from the body that something was not right.

HEALING THROUGH HELPING

Dani found her healing when she started helping others. She began sharing her story and fundraising for a cure. “If my story can help even one person, then I've taken this awful thing and turned it into something positive for someone else. I hope this article sparks a positive change from someone.”

In October 2021, her first platform was through her workplace where she is a member of their women's leadership forum. They host TED-talk-style presentations and Dani applied and was interviewed be one of the speakers. The selection committee was concerned that it was too soon after her surgery. But she said, “This is really important. I want this.” She was accepted and shared her story with over 2,000 people globally. In response, many reached out to her; many of them struggling on their own with cancer, wanting to connect. “I know that I've helped someone. I got a sense of fulfillment and thought that I have to keep doing this.”

She was then asked to speak on The Empowerment Podium. She shared her thoughts on The Boomerang Effect.

Dani raises funds for breast cancer research through raffles and awareness walks. The first Stadelmann Strong Awareness Walk met at her home and walked around her neighborhood. Her boss even wore a pink tutu! They raised $10K for the national Breast Cancer Research Foundation.

This year on 10/8/23, the 3rd annual Stadelmann Strong joined the 18th Annual Breast Friends Cancer Awareness Walk in Massachusetts. Dani was able to recruit many new business sponsors. This walk is headed up by high school sophomore Emily Lucien in memory of her mother Beth. Donations support cancer navigation work at Massachusetts General Hospital Chelsea HealthCare Center. Community health workers help patients resolve their barriers to care, such as transportation, childcare, scheduling appointments and language barriers so they can complete critical breast cancer screenings. Together, they have exceeded the $50K goal. If you want to support the cause, you can still donate here!

ONBOARD THE TRAIN OF CHANGE

Dani experienced a difficult childhood with an abusive and alcoholic birth mother who did not provide strong building blocks for her future. Fortunately, at the age of 12 years, she was able to move in with her father full time and was provided a stable environment. But because of the lingering pain, Dani had given up on herself and became a rebellious teen. She allowed her anger to negatively shape her decisions and attitude. She did not earn good grades in school. 

Realizing she needed to make a change — in herself and how she treated others — she rose above, changed her attitude, and leaned on those who loved her. Dani boarded the train of change. She persevered and earned her associate degree with honors. She said goodbye to those in her life that didn’t enable her to be her best.

There were two critical catalysts that continued to shape her thinking:

• In 2015, Dani went on a missionary trip to a Haitian orphanage with the Be Like Brit Foundation. This organization helps to raise the next generation of leaders in Haiti and provides health care and security.  Spending time with these children and the other “britisionarys” changed her life and outlook.
• Dani read the “most inspiring book” that enabled her to change the trajectory for the rest of her life: Heartache and Hope in Haiti: The Britney Gengel Story. The book provided an ideal of being a compassionate and fearless soul determined to help others.

Then in July 2019, with her current employer's support, Dani earned her undergraduate degree, graduating in the top 10% of her class.

First annual Stadelmann Strong Breast Cancer Awareness Walk at Dani's home

Dani with her grandaughter wearing her 'My Meme're is a survivor' t-shirt at 3rd annual Stadelmann Walk

THE BOOMERANG EFFECT

During this journey, Dani began to believe in what she calls the Boomerang Effect: what you throw out into the world will eventually come back to you.  “I worked hard to do good. I respond with kindness even if someone is mean to me. I take the high road.  I want to help others.

“Be the change,” advises Dani. “Be the boomerang.” She firmly believes that the positive changes she made after being a teenager is why she was showered with love and kindness during her battle with cancer.

“It’s important for me to raise my girls to be kind. Don’t be selfish.”

DANI’S CLOSING THOUGHTS

• “Use our inner determination. You have a choice: do nothing and stay in the same cycle, or create the change. Be the change.”
• “Remember to give yourself grace. You will not always have a perfect day.”
• “Take something awful in your life and look hard to find something positive in it.”

“No matter where you come from, you are not defined by that. Look at where I am now and where I started. I worked hard to attain my career. I’d fail a test. Then study and take it again and pass. If anyone had told the young Dani that she would have a college education and be a Financial Planner now, she wouldn’t have believed it."

What you throw out to the world will eventually come back to you. Throw kindness.

Dani Stadelmann is an Advisor and Financial Planner for Fidelity Investments in Framingham, Massachusetts. Dani and her husband Larry live in Natick, Massachusetts. They have five daughters and their rescue pup named Charlie. They enjoy spending time at the beach, Hilton Head Island in South Carolina, and playing outdoors sports. Dani is a huge fan of basketball - she even coached her daughters' basketball teams.

Want to learn about Dani Stadelmann and get involved with breast cancer advocacy and awareness?

• Facebook
• Instagram
• Watch her talk on The Empowerment Podium
• Dr. Susan Love's Breast Book
• National Breast Cancer Research Foundation

Note: There are no affiliate links on this page. Information is provided as resources for readers.

October 2023